


Stinky Cheese and Secret Identities

by Chicken_WithaSaber



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Ancient Camembert, Comedy, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I should get some sleep, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Finds Out First, Oblivious Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, This Fic Will Make You Laugh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:34:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27056506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chicken_WithaSaber/pseuds/Chicken_WithaSaber
Summary: When Plagg purchases a rancid barrel of medieval cheese and refuses to eat anything else, everybody abandons Adrien except his just-a -friend Marinette. Meanwhile, Marinette realizes that Chat Noir has started to stink horribly around the same time that Adrien began to smell...
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 17
Kudos: 87





	Stinky Cheese and Secret Identities

**Author's Note:**

> I laughed a lot when writing this one, I hope it brings a smile to someone's face :D

_\-----I Obviously Don't Own Miraculous-----_

Sometimes taking care of Plagg could be like caring for a newborn baby, Adrien thought grumpily. That Kwami was as spoiled and ungrateful as they came. He was constantly whining for more cheese, and had a tendency to wake Adrien up in the wee hours of the morning for snacks. Not only that, but Plagg’s Camembert obsession had quickly burned through his college fund, which forced Adrien to participate in even more photoshoots than before.

Unfortunately, just like a newborn baby, Plagg stank. All the time. In fact, Adrien was pretty sure he had lost his sense of smell due to that hunk of radioactive Cheddar that Plagg had insisted on keeping in the center of his room. (“The aroma, Adrien! What if Ladybug visits?!Your room smells like flowers, if you want to figure out her identity, we need something that smells _good_!”)

Recently, Plagg had been surfing on the internet (always a bad idea) and had found out about a barrel of ancient and _rancid_ Camembert that had recently been discovered in a medieval graveyard. Adrien had crossed his fingers, but to no avail. The cheese was found to be in edible condition and was auctioned off to the highest bidder. (And by highest bidder, I unfortunately mean Plagg.)

Fortunately, Adrien had had the stroke of insight and had recently given Plagg his father’s business credit card. His personal card was hidden in the one place Plagg would never venture-his bathroom. (“Kid, I know I’m not one to talk, but you stink! Aw, don’t feel bad, give it a few years till your hormones settle down! Then you can smell like Camembert just like me!”)

Once Plagg had tasted his medieval cheese, he refused to eat anything else. Luxury camembert imported directly from Belgium? Out of the question! Fresh goat cheese straight from the Swiss Alps? No way. Locally made Brie fresh from the farmers' market? Gross!

And so Adrien Agreste began to smell like, well, spoiled milk. Most people who knew him personally would admit to having previously smelled a faint, cheesy aroma while in his presence. But now, anytime Adrien took a step in one direction, babies cried, children threw up, old ladies fainted, and adults ran the other way like frantic sheep. His classmates tried to be kind, but by Tuesday they were all wearing masks into class. (Foreshadowing much?) This embarrassed Adrien to no end. He had begged and pleaded with Plagg, layered on as much cologne as possible, and had even wrapped his body in saran wrap in a desperate attempt to contain the smell. (Spoiler alert: It didn’t work.)

Poor Adrien was miserable; he had been kicked out of Karate after making his Sensei sick and had also stopped fencing because Kagami didn’t want to touch him with a ten-foot sword. Most if his friends had also abandoned him, because the overpowering smell made them too ill to talk. The only companion of his that had not left him was Marinette. He smiled at the thought of their Everyday Ladybug; she was always so compassionate and considerate. She looked just like the real Ladybug too! What if… He shook his head and painstakingly adjusted the clothespin on his nose. He couldn’t be that lucky. There was no way that his two favorite people in the world could be the same girl. Besides, Marinette laughed loudly at his puns, while Ladybug rolled her eyes at Chat whenever he told her how ‘ _meow_ velous’ she looked.

**\-----------Marinette’s POV----------**

Marinette would do almost anything for Adrien. Why wouldn’t she? He was the love of her life, the cream to her puff, the cone to her ice cream... you get the picture. (The only issue was that Adrien didn’t know it yet… her confession attempts always failed.)

So when Adrien walked into the class with a _visible_ cloud of rotten-cheese-scent surrounding him, she’d bravely clipped a clothespin onto her nose and sat down next to him. Adrien smiled gratefully at her, and she tried to grin back without vomiting from the stench. “Thanks, Marinette. You’re the best friend ever. I know I smell... odd right now.” And the blonde boy self-consciously scratched his neck, which oddly reminded Marinette of Chat. She was able to squeak out, “It’s ok Adrien! I won’t judge you, no matter what!” And the two turned towards the front of the classroom, as Ms. Bustier began her lecture. For the whole hour, Adrien was silently cursing Plagg, while Marinette breathed shallowly through her mouth and tried not to faint from the overpowering aroma. Where was her bottle of ‘Adrien, The Fragrance’ when she needed it most?!

When the Akuma Alert sirens went off at noon, Marinette (shallowly) breathed a sigh of relief. She would support Adrien through thick and thin and through smelly and clean, but his aroma was rapidly becoming overbearing! The girl snuck away from Adrien, slipped into the janitor’s closet, and transformed into Ladybug. For a second, she thought of calling her Lucky Charm in hopes of receiving some kind of smell repellant, but then shook the idea off. She was heading away from the school, there was no way Adrien’s scent could travel that far. The superheroine swung her yoyo and leapt out of the closet.

Much to Ladybug’s exasperation, it was Mr. Ramier who had been Akumatized. From what she had gathered, he had tried to bring his beloved flock of birds into the grocery store and been kicked out by the manager. Ladybug couldn’t blame the manager; she knew first-hand how much destruction a single pigeon could cause.

When she saw Chat Noir’s figure run towards her from the distance, Ladybug breathed a sigh of relief. However, when she inhaled, her nostrils were met with the scent of rancid cheese! Was Adrien nearby? How had he escaped the school? Didn’t he know he had to protect his precious face at all costs?! Chat must have noticed the varying emotions cross her face, and quickly said, “I’m sorry LB, I know I really stink right now. My useless Kwami has his new fascination with rotten cheese, and I’ve begged, bribed and cried to him, but he won’t go back to regular cheese!”

Ladybug groaned; it seemed as if her poor nostrils just wouldn’t get a break that day. “Ok, Chat, let’s defeat Mr. Ramier before I die.”

After they had defeated Mr. Ramier for the 273rd time, the two superheroes sat down on a park bench. “So Chat, you were saying about your Kwami?” The cat in question sheepishly scratched the back of his head. “So, Plagg may have seen an add about some medieval camembert for sale and stole my father’s credit card. Now he refuses to eat anything else.”

“Oh, I see.” Ladybug said weakly. On a rant, Chat continued, “The smell has ruined my life! My friends can’t sit next to me without getting sick, I got kicked out of karate, and I keep causing people to faint!” The two paused to survey their surroundings. It was true, there were many people dropping to the ground as they spoke.

The sound of the school bell caught their attention, and Cat and Bug made their usual excuses as they separated.

The next day as Adrien arrived to school, his classmates surrounded him. (A few brave souls were only wearing masks, but most students had opted for full hazmat suits.) “Dude, why do you smell so awful?! Is your Pops forcing you to promote some nasty new cologne?” Nino asked. Scratching his neck, Adrien cautiously replied, “Uh… my, umm… new cat discovered some ancient cheese, and er, now refuses to eat anything else.”

“Adrikins, if a stupid cat is causing you to smell bad, give it to me! My Daddykins knows an excellent animal trainer who can train that beast to eat kibble like it deserves!” Chloe squawked as she retreated to the giant, human sized hamster ball that she was sharing with Sabrina. Adrien chuckled humorlessly. “I’m afraid this cat only eats stinky cheese, Chloe.”

Marinette had arrived just in time to hear this exchange. She was currently frozen on the spot, and only moved when Chloe’s hamster ball threatened to run her over. Adrien noticed her arrival and decided to tell her the truth. After all her kindness, Marinette deserved to know the truth, whether she believed it or not. “About that smell Marinette, my Kwam- err, KITTY may have seen an add about some medieval camembert for sale and stole my father’s credit card. Now he refuses to eat anything else.”

Adrien expected his friend to laugh, but instead her eyes went wide, and she whispered, “Chat Noir?” “No, me? Why would I be Chat Noir, we don’t look a thing alike!” he laughed unconvincingly. But Marinette glared at him with a very Ladybug-like expression on her face. “You said the exact same thing yesterday after we defeated Mr. Ramier.”

Adrien gulped. “After we- LADYBUG?” His classmate didn’t answer, but dragged him to the janitor’s closet where he always transformed in. During the next hour, the two heroes swapped stories and laughed at their obliviousness, while Tikki gave Plagg a thorough scolding.

During the next week, as Plagg was forced to return to his normal diet, the cheese stench slowly left Adrien’s body. It was a huge relief to all of Paris, especially Hawkmoth, who had remained transformed all week in hopes of using his superpowers to block out the smell.

The school was thoroughly scrubbed by professional cleaners in order to vanquish the putrid aroma, and all of Adrien’s clothes had to be thrown out. Instead of being replaced with Gabriel Agreste couture, however, his wardrobe was now filled with Marinette Dupain-Cheng originals.

For the next few years, Adrien and Marinette would cringe anytime cheese was brought to the table. Cheese sandwiches were out of the question, and mac ‘n’ cheese was a huge fear of theirs.

Fortunately, after many long years of facing their phobia, they were able to enjoy a Dupain-Cheng strawberry cheesecake as their wedding cake!

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? I laughed so hard when writing about Chloe in the hamster ball! XD


End file.
